Not The Shitty Real Me

Link #vent in the tags so no one sees my problems ay #but im so tired #constantly performing just to get people to be my friend #but they just #see a fake me #not the shitty real me #bc i wouldnt have friends otherwise #i try so so hard to be a good person nice empathetic #but im so angry all the time or i feel nothing #or lonely #i always feel really really lonely #and it feels stupid #i hate it #im always like #uh yeah i sure hope they do #they deserve awesome good friends #its so fucking selfish of me to think that way #they already have good friends they dont need me #im so bad at this #they see smth and go oh i bet eugene would like that #go to lunch with eugene #but im fucking selfish and stupid and ugly and bad #im tired of being me #i wish i was someone else #i wouldnt like me either if i was a different person #i feel bad for like making people interact with me